Tales from the Third Reef #4
There were once three little lines on the horizon... baby line, mama line, and papa line. As the winds blew so did the lines travel up the coast, then down the coast, but never coming to shore to rest.
Baby line cried out,"I'm sooooo tired of traveling back and forth, when are we going to get there, huh? I've got to go peeeeee, I'm hungry!" As all baby lines do. Finally baby line broke free and crawled then stumbled towards the nearest shore.
There on the cliff stood Crazy Joe, liquid refreshment in one hand and pointing out to sea with the other. Eyeing the baby line coming towards his doorstep Crazy Joe stepped forward and declared,"You are but a child, go back and send your mother!" The baby line was very frightened by Crazy Joe and immediately turned back into the sea.
When the baby line reached it's mother it declared,"Mama, Mama, there is a giant upon the shore and he sent me away!" Well, hearing this the Mama line was incensed. "No human is going to harass my baby line as long as I have the strength!" And off she went to defend her baby line.
When she arrived at the shoreline full of fury she cried out at the top of her lungs,"Where is this puny speck of a man that dares to put fear into the heart of my child?"
Crazy Joe stepped forward and lashed out at mama line,"Silence wench! I'll not suffer your insolent backwash. Begone and send back a man!" Whimpering in fear she too turned back into the sea. Crying miserably, she slinked off towards the falling sun.
Papa line was outraged. "Nobody treats my family with disrespect. Why, I'll crush his bones that little pipsqueak! Well, I'll grind him into kelp paste that's what I'll do!" And with that he was off. His rage filled the ocean and he became larger and larger as he rumbled into the shallows.
Soon his countenance blocked out the very sun that Crazy Joe was basking in.
"What's going on now?", Crazy Joe asked no one in particular. As he turned to face the sea he suddenly was aware of a huge building wave perched upon the outer reef. "I'm here to crush the fool human that dares to insult my family!" roared Papa line. "I dare him to paddle in my direction an hurl invectives my way!".
Crazy Joe realized that this was in fact the biggest wave that he had ever seen. He immediately grabbed his longest, sleekest, BIG WAVE GUN! Entering the water he began to stroke calmly towards the bellowing beast. "I am the one that caused your ancestors to quake in fear. I am the one that caused your child to piddle upon the beach. And I am the one that will ride you into oblivion.", said Crazy Joe.
With that the mighty Papa Line reached out to pound Crazy Joe into the reef, but Crazy Joe was "cat-like quick" and danced away just in time. Turning as the giant beast passed beneath him, he leaped upon it's back just in time to hurtle down across it's creased brow.
Screaming in pain as Crazy Joe's fins raked across his face, the monster accelerated his pace, reaching farther and farther out to close his fist upon Crazy Joe. But he was not to be fooled this day. With a twist of his hips, and a flex of his bended knee Crazy Joe was inside the beast... carving up, then down.
The creature howled and drew back a bloodied paw, then with a vengeance threw himself into the fray. He lashed out again and again, and each time Crazy Joe was just a millisecond quicker. And each time a little more of the beast's vital fluid was sprayed across it's back.
Eventually the mighty Papa line was but a dribbling bit of foam at Crazy Joe's feet, simply a wash on the beach. "I'm over it, and forward march!" Never taunt Crazy Joe's big wave gun. "You are naught but another trophy for it's collection of conquers." Now let us wallow in the splendor of life's beauty, and enjoy another delicious cocktail.
Baby line cried out,"I'm sooooo tired of traveling back and forth, when are we going to get there, huh? I've got to go peeeeee, I'm hungry!" As all baby lines do. Finally baby line broke free and crawled then stumbled towards the nearest shore.
There on the cliff stood Crazy Joe, liquid refreshment in one hand and pointing out to sea with the other. Eyeing the baby line coming towards his doorstep Crazy Joe stepped forward and declared,"You are but a child, go back and send your mother!" The baby line was very frightened by Crazy Joe and immediately turned back into the sea.
When the baby line reached it's mother it declared,"Mama, Mama, there is a giant upon the shore and he sent me away!" Well, hearing this the Mama line was incensed. "No human is going to harass my baby line as long as I have the strength!" And off she went to defend her baby line.
When she arrived at the shoreline full of fury she cried out at the top of her lungs,"Where is this puny speck of a man that dares to put fear into the heart of my child?"
Crazy Joe stepped forward and lashed out at mama line,"Silence wench! I'll not suffer your insolent backwash. Begone and send back a man!" Whimpering in fear she too turned back into the sea. Crying miserably, she slinked off towards the falling sun.
Papa line was outraged. "Nobody treats my family with disrespect. Why, I'll crush his bones that little pipsqueak! Well, I'll grind him into kelp paste that's what I'll do!" And with that he was off. His rage filled the ocean and he became larger and larger as he rumbled into the shallows.
Soon his countenance blocked out the very sun that Crazy Joe was basking in.
"What's going on now?", Crazy Joe asked no one in particular. As he turned to face the sea he suddenly was aware of a huge building wave perched upon the outer reef. "I'm here to crush the fool human that dares to insult my family!" roared Papa line. "I dare him to paddle in my direction an hurl invectives my way!".
Crazy Joe realized that this was in fact the biggest wave that he had ever seen. He immediately grabbed his longest, sleekest, BIG WAVE GUN! Entering the water he began to stroke calmly towards the bellowing beast. "I am the one that caused your ancestors to quake in fear. I am the one that caused your child to piddle upon the beach. And I am the one that will ride you into oblivion.", said Crazy Joe.
With that the mighty Papa Line reached out to pound Crazy Joe into the reef, but Crazy Joe was "cat-like quick" and danced away just in time. Turning as the giant beast passed beneath him, he leaped upon it's back just in time to hurtle down across it's creased brow.
Screaming in pain as Crazy Joe's fins raked across his face, the monster accelerated his pace, reaching farther and farther out to close his fist upon Crazy Joe. But he was not to be fooled this day. With a twist of his hips, and a flex of his bended knee Crazy Joe was inside the beast... carving up, then down.
The creature howled and drew back a bloodied paw, then with a vengeance threw himself into the fray. He lashed out again and again, and each time Crazy Joe was just a millisecond quicker. And each time a little more of the beast's vital fluid was sprayed across it's back.
Eventually the mighty Papa line was but a dribbling bit of foam at Crazy Joe's feet, simply a wash on the beach. "I'm over it, and forward march!" Never taunt Crazy Joe's big wave gun. "You are naught but another trophy for it's collection of conquers." Now let us wallow in the splendor of life's beauty, and enjoy another delicious cocktail.
posted by SurfLounge at
3:58 PM
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